'Working' with anxiety...

Hello everyone! 

I've decided to delay the part two of my horsey blog as I had another topic in mind for this week. This is to do with anxiety and I'm asking for advice so please, please feel free to comment or message me on Facebook! It's not my usual style of blog as rather than just telling you about something to do with my life, I'm looking for help off people who have been through the same thing or know how to advise me!

Firstly I'll just briefly explain the background to my problem. As most of you probably know, I suffer with anxiety, specifically panic disorder and social phobia. If you know about or have anxiety you will know that this makes normal tasks throughout life a lot more difficult than it is for other people. As you probably know also, I have a horse that is so incredibly important to me. She comes before anything else and is my baby, I love her more than life itself <3 My Mum and Dad aren't horsey people but they're very supportive and pay for Summer entirely and have always paid for my horses over the last nearly 9 years.

Currently, I am studying animal management level 3 at college full time. I'm not sure what I want to do when I leave college but I enjoy the course and have an interest in animals so figured the course would suit me best. However I now am considering going into psychology or counselling as I’d love to help people in similar situations as me and I find it so interesting learning about the brain and our behaviour! 

Anyway, before I start rambling, my problem is this. Despite the fact that my parents pay for Summer, I really want to start earning my own money and paying for her myself as I don't want to always be relying on people, (I'm 18 next week too so about time I look after myself and my horse!). I can drive and have my own car and it's an amazing feeling not having to rely on lifts like I used too so I think paying for Summer myself would be the best feeling :) However due to my anxiety I feel like I'm really struggling. The thought of having to do most jobs is terrifying, let alone going for interviews or ringing people up to enquire. Most jobs also involve customer service or communicating with people which all feels so daunting. I'm not sure what to do. Do you have any tips or advice? What sort of jobs would best suit me? How can I get over my fears enough to apply for jobs and get a job without coming across like a nervous wreck?  That's if I manage to show up at all! It's not like I need to earn a lot, every little helps! And I have limited hours due to college but I'm determined to do something this year! 

It's just very hard to try and conquer my fears. I know to other people I come across as lazy because of not having a job but it's really not down to that at all, I’d love to be able to go to work like normal people and not have to worry.

 I'm also considering going to my GP to ask for help or counselling but from what I've heard, doctors are not too helpful lol! Has anyone got any advice there also?

Thank you for reading; I really hope someone can help me. I am open to a chat any time too, my name is Molly Folland. Thanks in advance for any help and thank you for all your support so far. Can't believe how many people read my blogs every week already! Crazy! If I manage to get together some good advice I will blog it soon too so if anyone's in a similar situation to me I can try and help!

Anyway, speak again soon, Mol and Sum xxx